Pengalaman-Saya

The end of year

It’s the end of November. The same rush, same stress, same pressure. I don’t feel good. My feelings a bit too much. I don’t feel mentally healthy. I need to write my diary.

Hi, it’s Niknik Kenken in the end of year of 2021. I almost made it through this year and able to perform my work. I am proud of myself. I feel that I am growing in the right direction. I feel comfortable with myself, many times.

I feel stress out because the work and my personal lives gives me les and less time to live in the moment and taking care my inner turmoil. I want to listen and look at life from the not-sot good side. I have difficulty to find the right words to express myself.

Hi Niken! Thank you for being here with me and hear me. I want to thanked you for this wonderful year together. You worked hard. You tried hard. I want you to enjoy the ride. I mean, you are 42 year-old now and it’s adding. Imagine, being in a journey for 42 years, that’s must be tough.

Yes, it’s tough. More people have it tougher so I am not alone. I don’t want to complain, I want to be accepting of all my emotions. It’s been a lot of pressure lately and I also ask myself, what do I want to do next. I don’t want a new challenge in my new job. I want a space that allow me to grow in and out. I don’t want to be a ballon that pumped to grow big to be beautiful to entertain the crowd.

Yes, you should take time to make decision that will have long term effect. It maybe difficult to take a break in the end of year but it should be something you take daily rather than taking one week off from work. It is better to take it one step at a time than waiting for everyting twisted and become a fluffy ball that you can’t control.

Yeah. Walking is helping me. Although if I take too long, my feet will sore. But I feel good. Maybe I worry too much or overthinking. I know everything will work eventually, so sometimes I don’t know why I feel anxious about it. I know everything will be good because I have faith with myself.

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