Sajak-Saya

  • Sajak-Saya

    Scars and blood

    these are my scarsthis is my bloodI won’t be ashamed of them I’ve been at the bottomand broken downI’ve been cut and steppedso I hide out I’ve been too pretty and too uglyI have been hurtno self pride and self worth I want myself like nothing elseI make a peace with all my pastI will stand up to my fear If it’s too muchI will rest but I won’t stopThis pain is rooted deepIt may take lifetime to take it out I’ve shed blood over my veinsI promised not to hold any tearsI will carry on Bogor, 18 Oktober 2020Forevernikn

  • Sajak-Saya

    Don’t

    You don’t have to be the sunto warm my heartYou don’t have to be the moonto calm my soul You don’t need to be my medicinejust be my friendYou don’t need to bring me diamondjust open up your mind You don’t need to be the hurricanejust scream You don’t need to be the stormbecause I will ease your pain Be hereat the moment, with me Bogor, 17 Oktober 2020forevernikn

  • CerPen-Saya,  Sajak-Saya

    Tantangan 10 buku selama 10 hari

    Posting ini menyambut ajakan untuk berbagi 10 muka buku yang aku sukai. Awalnya tidak tertarik karena dalam sebulan terakhir baru bisa baca 4 buku. Tapi dicoba aja. Siapa tau malah ketagihan dan kirim 25 halaman buku. Menurut aturan Devina, gak perlu cerita sinopsis atau lainnya. Kayaknya aku gak akan ikut aturan itu. Setelah aku mengunggah foto-foto muka buku, aku baru sadar bahwa aslinya hanya 7 muka buku selama 7 hari. Jadi bukan 10. Entah kenapa aku mengingat angka 10 ini. Hari kesepuluh. Buku karya saya sendiri berjudul Frog Majesty berupa kumpulan puisi berbahasa Inggris yang saya buat selama periode 1994-2009. Hari kesembilan. Lorong Tanpa Cahaya karya Ngarto Februana. Buku dengan…

  • Sajak-Saya

    Evil to myself

    Don’t say you love me, you know nothing about meI am not the same person you see in InstagramI am not the cool idol you see in music video I am what you don’t see in reality showThat just the way it goesI was not the happy face you saw in YouTubeYou’ll be surprised to know how plain I am I may not up to your expectationI am not the same persona in your imaginationI am trained to be the person you love to seeNothing as you want me to be I won’t lie, you caught my attentionBut are you ready to go with me?I can be raw and fragile…

  • Sajak-Saya

    Hold my tears

    I am too young to think it will last foreverI am too naive to think you will changeI am too stupid to think you are the one You have slipped away from my heartYou have move further from my sideIt’s been hard to understandReally sick to spent time to know why Nevermind, don’t feel sorry for meI’ll be fine, I will move on by the moonsNevermind, forget all my attention and careIt was nothing to remember I risk the stigma just to get your smileI fight my life so I can hold your handsThey don’t know how safe I am in your eyesIf it’s wrong why it feels rightIf you…

  • Sajak-Saya

    Doesn’t matter

    Harder to breath when memories flood your mindsI lost seconds and hours counting the unconsented touchesI lost the years blaming myself being born as femaleI was in inexplicable rage for 20 years I searched for ways to unite with my bodyI tried to be at peace with misogynyI was being patient as a victim Doesn’t matter, I found outNevermind, they saidMove on, they pointedLike everything is my faultLike unwanted sex is part of normal life I lost count of humiliationI lost the time to become a womanI lost the traces of self-confidence I stop searchingI stop tryingI stop being patient No longer sorry to be in angerI am the effect,…

  • Sajak-Saya

    Safe space

    You don’t need to check up on me every 1,2, or 3 hoursIf we want to know how much we love, we have to learn to trustI don’t need you every time I get sickI need to take care myself before I can take care of you Give us safe space to be alone with our feelingSo I can appreciate every moment you are near I don’t need to check up on you every hourI believe you’ll catch me when I am fallingI let you free to be on your ownBecause you’re precious to many people I know you are strong enough to become a loverI will never complete you…

  • Sajak-Saya

    Kutunggu di Nagan

    Aku lewati tempat kerjamu di pertigaan NaganSetiap hari mencoba curi pandangKu perlambat langkah sebelum tiba Ku tautkan asa untuk sekedar melempar baraDemi wajahmu yang tergambar di pelupuk mataKu datangi warung di Nagan Berharap kamu istirahat dan singgah makanMendengar suaramu saja hati tergetarSetiap suap nasi terasa rendang di lidahTuhan, buatlah dia lapar! Aku tak bisa beranjak dari NaganHati ini belum mau pergi dan berpalingHanya ingin di sini dan merangkul harapan Setiap mampir ke kota ini, aku tersenyum simpulMengingat sosok penuh tawa berambut gimbalBicara dengan logat Magelang yang kental Aku masih ingin menyusuri Jalan NaganSekedar mengenang urat geli yang hampir hilangBerkhayal kamu akan menoleh ke belakang dan berkata,“Aku tunggu kamu di Nagan!”…